EX-Porn Star Danielle’s Story: How I Got out of the Porn Industry


Hi Everybody!

Again, I’m putting another disclaimer for this post. It’s quite heavy and yet mind-blowing. It is definitely for an 18+ audience with graphic details so please watch at your discretion. It is mature subject matter and yet I feel for those that struggle with watching Porn, this video testimony might enlighten you, for those that know of anyone thinking of going into this industry or are in it, know that you can get out of it and that you don’t have to stay there, whether you’re a guy or girl.

Danielle William’s Story

When I first watched Danielle’s story, I was heart-broken and yet sobered up by the realities of other peoples struggles. Her testimony sheds light on how women see themselves, what addictions are and how such places as the Porn industry work to ruin lives of those who watch it and also those engaged in the industry. The Devil is real people. What I found interesting in her testimony is how many people who participated in watching porn were also the very same who would pay to have porn-stars like Danielle and or prostitutes as their personal escort were also “Christian” men in the Church. Now, I know we have a lot of people in the world who struggle with Porn, but we can’t act like it’s not in our back yard. What I also love about her testimony is that she explains how she still felt she was a Christian even though she wasn’t living up to the standards of her beliefs. God revealed to her the truth of what she was living through and how “Money” played a big role in her continuing to be a Porn Star. Money became her God and this led her to be trapped for a time in this dangerous and risky business. She explains the role that STD’s and AIDS plays out in the industry and she also explains how much women make versus what men make in the industry.

Watch her video

After watching it, I thought to myself that Pornography is definitely the devil’s play ground. Although I was exposed to it at the age of 5, I felt that the pictures were rather degrading and evil. Women are not creatures with insatiable desires as these pictures depict and it is no wonder why some young ladies dress up scantily clad trying to imitate these pictures just to get a guy to “notice” them. Their self image in these pictures and videos sell an idea that assumes you have to do these things to get noticed, to get appreciated to get validated as an attractive woman and to get “loved”. These are definitely lies from the pits of hell being fed into especially young minds of young girls and boys that need to be dismantled. Ladies, I’m here to tell you that God didn’t design you to be this way.God created every person to be fearfully and wonderfully made.

Psalm 139:14
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.

Virtue should be your mantle and not these scandalous and dangerous activities. It is easy to land in these places and you’ve got to wonder, is it such a mystery as to why some men and women struggle with bulimia, anorexia nervosa, self-injury, suicidal thoughts, drugs, alcohol etc  to numb the pain when they are bombarded with magazines,  television, advertisements in different forms of social media that depict images of what an ideal man or woman should be by the world’s standards? No, it is not a mystery and yet things like Pornography which is a mutli-billion making industry fuel these ideas by those fueled by greed, money and lust at the expense of our generations losing their self-worth and identity. We are losing generations folks, to perversion and violence and the more we hide it under the rug, the more we allow for this culture of genocide to continue. That’s right, you read correctly when I said a “Culture of genocide”. I know using the term genocide sounds strong, but generations are dying because of how we have allowed for such things to control our society, our families and our children.

We feed addictions at the cost of people’s lives and I find this all to be rather really sad and it grieves my spirit to know that young people can’t talk about this stuff freely because of ridicule and condemnation, especially those that are in the church. It is yet another hush hush topic and some are afraid of being judged in a Christian circle because of the high standard expected of young people. The ‘I’m a Christian and yet I struggle with watching porn” isn’t something someone wants to testify let alone admit to because of the thought of, “What’s wrong with me?…I know that it’s wrong but I can’t seem to stop”.

People, it’s a serious stronghold that needs to be broken with much deliverance and healing and EDUCATION.

Christian or no Christian, Porn has it’s own demons and it doesn’t discriminate on who its victims are…you can be a Christian and watch it and you can be a Non-believer and watch it, but the effects of Porn remains the same. It breaks people’s spirits, it breaks relationships and peoples marriages. Let me just say that men aren’t the only participants who watch it, young girls do too from the ones I’ve talked too, but they are ashamed to reveal that because of the social stigma that places women at a higher standard than men to be participating in these activities. I’m here to tell you that women watch Pornography just as much as men do, but many books always focus on men’s issues regarding it because we know it’s an obvious area that targets men, but trust me when I say that there are a lot of closet women who do watch it too and it is no wonder why there is a rise in pre-marital sex, there is a rise of single-mothers all because Sex has been perverted by this industry (as a factor but not the only reason) that thrives to drive people away from what God intended sex to be for which is for the sacred institution of Marriage with One Man and One Woman – just to make that clear.

My abuser obviously had a problem with Porn and she was a woman…a “Christian” one at that… so don’t assume that I’m only talking to men who watch it because women do too and for different reasons. For men it maybe more for physical release whereas for women it maybe more for emotional release.  I won’t profess to be an expert on this topic, but I’m just laying out my opinions. I’d be very interested to hear other people’s feed back on this so please by all means comment below and let’s have a discussion.

For the men that watch it, I’m not here to condemn you at all about those that watch it, but understand how you viewing it continues the violence that these young women experience. There has been research to support that most sexual offenders imitate what they have seen in Porn videos and afflict the same activities on their victims. Sex Trafficking is a major issue in foreign countries and it is also happening in our back yards which is also another arm to fuel the Porn industry. Men…you have to break the cycle if you want to be serious. You must believe that you can overcome the temptation of it all by admitting that you may have a problem and you need some accountability for it. Seek support groups and do what you have to do in order to be set free from the addiction of watching Porn. God want’s you to know that we all have the ability to have self-control and you need to embrace that truth.

2 Timothy 1:7
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and selfcontrol.

Titus 2:12
It has trained us to reject and renounce all ungodliness (irreligion) and worldly (passionate) desires, to live discreet (temperate, selfcontrolled), upright, devout (spiritually whole) lives in this present world,

2 Peter 1:6
And in [exercising] knowledge [develop] selfcontrol, and in [exercising] selfcontrol [develop] steadfastness (patience, endurance), and in [exercising] steadfastness [develop] godliness (piety),

Suffer no delusions and wake up people! You are a victim if you watch it and/or participate in it, but God wants to break these addictions and the only way to be free from them is by confessing it for what it is (Repentance) and then seeking some Godly counsel or some effective support groups to help deal with these issues before they spiral out of control.

Porn effects both men and women, young or old in respect to their self-image.

Remember Danielle’s testimony and realize that this industry affects how we view ourselves for those  of us who are in the Body of Christ. I encourage everybody to do some serious soul searching and some real-talk about this issue with some support system and accountability partners so that we break the cycle of self-abuse and continual abuse-by-proxy by continuing to watch Porn that affect the people who participate in the industry. Spread the word and feel free to share this post if you think it will help somebody.

Danielle is an amazing conqueror and overcomer as an EX-Porn star that has battled her demons in this evil industry and she is a living testimony that you can be set free from the stronghold of the Porn industry and from Pornography.

The glamor of it all is false and it’s amazing how young ladies are suckered into this place driven by lust and money. Guard your children parents! Vigilance is key here especially in their formative years. Consider that Men, if you don’t show the proper respect you have for your wives and daughters…your children will look elsewhere for some validation. God forbid if they land in this industry that may cater to their emotional needs not being met or other perverse avenues. Mothers, your sons need to be taught how to respect women by you being an example that is attractive to follow. A women of virtue is definitely a Proverbs 31 woman. They need to respect you at home and Fathers need to train men in the way they should go so that they don’t depart from your wisdom.

Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.

Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Do not judge your children harshly if you find out that they do in fact struggle with Porn or drugs or whatever addiction. The last thing a child wants to hear after they confess their issues is utter condemnation from their parents…this continues to facilitate their silence. Be open and discuss openly rather than fueling their silence to their struggles with your criticism. Ask yourself how would Jesus address the issue, with Love? or Condemnation? You play such a vital role in a Child’s life and freedom comes in an environment where love surrounds them and cultivates a safety net where they are free to express themselves without fear of condemnation. You can shut a child down by condemning words rather than with compassion.

Well that’s all I have to say  on this topic so I hope this post blesses somebody today and may Truth break the silence.

I recommend Sister Res’s blog for more information regarding information on the topic of sexual abuse. She has amazing posts that have ministered to my spirit. I totally recommend them.

Articles of interest from her blog are:

Sex Trafficking from the 13th Floor

The Bible and Child Sexual Abuse I

The Bible and Child Sexual Abuse II

I also Recommend these Resources via http://therproject.org/wp/cornerstone-church/fighting-for-purity/:

ONLINE RESOURCES

X3 watch – FREE. X3 watch sends fortnightly reports to 2 email buddies with questionable sites visited. It also says when the system has been turned off. (works on computer and even handheld devices!)

Covenant Eyes – Covenant Eyes Software provides Internet Integrity with accountability reports.

XXXchurch.com Don’t let the name put you off! This site is doing a great job at fighting for purity online. Very good advice for parents + links to some more helpful sites.

FREE EBOOKS

Porn Again Christian – Mark Driscoll

RECOMMENDED BOOKS

Every Man’s Battle by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker

Sex is Not the Problem, Lust Is by Joshua Harris

Sexual Detox: A Guide for Guys Who are Sick of Porn by Tim Challies

To Finish off, I also have a Song from J.R. called Temptations. May this song Minister to you today.

God bless you Everybody!

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Disclaimer Notice: Breaking this Code of Silence


Hi Everyone,

I just want to say that the next few posts maybe 18+ in content because they are addressing touchy issues like Pornography and sexual abuse and some of these testimonies from these individuals aren’t for the faint of heart or for the spiritually and emotionally  immature individual. I have been feeling in my spirit, that I need to address the things that are hurting people in the church, and by church I mean globally in scale and how this code of silence has functioned to prevent people from being healed and delivered.

Sister Res’s last post that I just re-blogged here on WordPress is a prime example of some of the things I’d like to address. The predator in this case was a Minister in the Church mind you, and I’m not going to say that all predators are in church because they can be found anywhere and everywhere. However, it is one of the institutions where we expect our shepherds to protect the flock when such grievous affairs happen. Shoving something like this under the rug and using the law to manipulate and continue such sinful affairs is APOSTASY that needs to be curbed with serious reprimand and Godly correction that may require legal action.

If you all have read my post regarding The Importance of Detecting False Humility you will understand that the predator in Sister Res’ article called Why Child Sexual Abuse Grooming Must become a Felony: The Story of Jason Kidd and His Daughter fits to the “T” for TRUTH.

There are some Wolves in Sheep’s clothing in the Body of Christ and discernment is one thing that we can use to detect them, but after detection there needs to be some sort of wisdom and practical action and structure to deal with these wolves accordingly.

Apostasy causes people to put the Church into disrepute. The Word cannot reach those that have been abused by manipulators who use the Word to abuse the flock. I’m telling you that God ain’t pleased with such matters and as of late, my spirit has been grieving over this area. I’ve been praying about this for a while, because of stories I’ve read and also because I’ve encountered people who turned away from the church because of these very same reasons of abuse. So Please take the Disclaimer Notice seriously and understand that the few posts that are yet to come may be heavy and I appreciate my readers and respect you enough to let you know this in advance so that you aren’t shocked regarding the content.

Personal Testimony

I admit that at first I didn’t want to do this, but I cannot ignore what I feel the Holy Spirit wants me to talk about. I can’t explain why this is gripping me right now, but I feel like I can’t keep my mouth shut about this anymore since I also have been in a situation where trust was broken by someone I knew.

My first prophetic dream that I had was at age 4 concerning a woman that was to be my nanny when I got to Australia. When we landed in the country, we were introduced to the workers at the house and she was one of the live-in nannies introduced. She was a pretty person who smiled a lot but I was tired after a long flight from Germany and didn’t really care for the introductions. I was 4 years old and wanted to sleep. The first night in Australia I had my first prophetic dream. In this dream this woman (the nanny) chased me in a mall and when I got to the second floor, there was no railing and she pushed me off deliberately and I fell. Before I hit the ground, I woke up and I heard the spirit of the Lord speak to me at age 4 and He said “Do not trust this woman, she is very evil”. I know this sounds far fetched to you right about now but this is really true. As a 4 year old, I didn’t understand why I shouldn’t trust her. Later on I soon began to realize why. She ended up being the woman that would later molest me and God tried to warn me, a 4-year old child who was innocent enough to trust in such an evil adult that this would happen. At this point, I do not care if people think my testimony is whack and unbelievable, but this is something that happened to me and I’m going to be frank about it since silence is deadly.

I am here to say that I too am a victim of molestation and sexual abuse. This woman that was my live-in nanny (not a family member)  was supposedly a “Christian” who actually in fact was a person who tried to groom me into practicing witchcraft. She exposed me to pornography first, tried to make me pray weird prayers that I soon found out later in my walk were incantations, gave me strange items to which I suffered a lot of spiritual attacks after that. She tried to poison me slowly with food since she would always prepare my breakfast as a means of silencing me about the molestation because she was fearful that I’d talk to my grandparents and reveal what she had done and get arrested. She made me promise not to tell my grandparents and bought me gifts to keep my mouth shut. As a kid, I didn’t know any better and did what she wanted me to do. Sometimes I wish I could have told my grandparents about this situation but my grandma was strict so I thought I would be blamed for allowing these things to happen to me, but later on I realized I should have confided in my grandparents when I could have because they were always on my side.

This so-called nanny often told me that she “loved me” but later on she grew cold and I mentally shut down. She then realized I wasn’t buying her “love-act” and got paranoid and tried to poison me but I still remained loyal and remained silent because I felt that nothing could be done about it. There was a time I would vomit everyday the food she prepared for me to eat to the point of blood and my grandmother got scared and took me to the family doctor because I was losing weight. There was an exchange where I heard my doctor tell a nurse that I had been progressively poisoned since they found something in my blood. At age 5 I could understand a lot so they didn’t know I was listening to the conversation.   She had the trust of my Grandparents, my uncle and aunt and she used that to her advantage. There is more to this story but I think I’ll stop here. What I can say is that I felt like the deed was done and I had to live with the consequences. This was a grave error on my part, but does a young child know any better?

I became disillusioned in my walk but somehow maintained my faith in God despite these events. This story is just one statistic. I praise God that I can share it without fear here. I feel such a release and I don’t care what people think of me now…She wasn’t the only manipulative person I encountered because there were also teachers in the “Christian” schools I attended that also betrayed my trust but that’s a story for another day. The reason why I’m telling my story here is so that for those that feel alone and don’t know what to do, silence keeps you trapped in the cycle of abuse. The only way to set yourself free is if you speak. I wish I learned this earlier, but evil knows no bounds and tries to do all that it can to get you to remain silent. Silence is deadly people. Even though I’ve been through this abuse, I have forgiven my abuser(s). There is no point in maintaining hatred because that is what keeps us bound in the first place. God wants people to be really real with themselves and not be in denial of the pain they feel. So for the next few posts, please listen to these testimonies with an open heart and don’t be so quick to judge without really hearing the truth for what it is about for these individuals. Sometimes the raw truth is hard to handle but Jesus says, The truth will set you FREE.

So my intention for this post and the following posts is to address difficult stories and come out of the closet with stuff that churches are hush hush about.  Jesus Loves and has always loved His Flock and I feel that He is sad and grieved when His children are abused by folk who are entrusted to care for them but are really Wolves in sheep clothing. There is a high price to pay for those that practice such lawlessness and abuse should not be tolerated under any circumstances. Keep that in mind. 

Jesus is the True Shepherd and if people aren’t following the True Shepherd’s example to tend to the flock and end up abusing the flock, I feel that some people should be removed without question. This isn’t a local problem, it’s a world wide one and people should not fear addressing these issues like it is. Some churches do and many churches don’t but is protecting one felon at the expense of the flock that important? Is God pleased with that????  At some point everyone will be held accountable on that day of judgement…we have to address sin like it is and not water down the truth so “some people can sleep well at night”. So please regard my disclaimer now and appreciate where I’m coming from with the few posts that I will prepare. I fear God enough to do this regardless of whether I become unpopular or not because the truth isn’t popular and I know that in advance to write without fear. I may lose readers but it is what it is. I respect you all and thank you for reading up until now.  God bless You All.

Thanks for reading everybody!

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