October 31, 2011 – Must death bring you together?


A colleague of mine mentioned that she had a friend whose 17 year old nephew named Connor had been killed by a train. The nature of the death is uncertain as to whether it was rendered an accident or a suicide. He died alone and the family found out about his death after he was identified by only his teeth that the police were able to retrieve at the tracks at the location of the incident.

The mother of Connor is not in good terms with Connor’s Aunt because of a family feud between “who’s son was better than the other”. From the story my colleague revealed to me, it seems that Connor’s mom is the reason as to why she can’t get along with her sister. She offended her sister by insulting her son who happened to be Connor’s cousin. Connor’s cousin who I’ll name JL is only a month apart in age and he used to get along with his cousin Connor and were pretty close until the feud of comparison started between their mothers.

This story struck me for various reasons. It’s amazing how a death can bring a family together but does it have to take someone’s death to put aside these differences to reconcile? At this moment Connor is gone. His cousin doesn’t want to attend the funeral because he is traumatized that his cousin has passed away like a firefly that dies once its light is burnt out. JL’s mother doesn’t want to attend the funeral because she is still offended and bitter towards her sister that caused the enmity between the families.Yet, she is guilt-ridden with regret that she wasn’t able to speak to her nephew to find out what was going on in his life and wasn’t able to counsel him to avoid making bad choices and alternatively could have prevented him from ending in such tragedy.

Life is precious and yet it is so delicate and fragile that it can be easily snuffed out within a blink of an eye. 

  My heart goes out to the family but the tragedy shows me that pain begets pain and remorse is born from regrets. 

 We take many things in life for granted and we end up in a sea of tears that reflect our broken hearts. It is these things that I often emphasize to others so that they change their ways now while they are able to, so that when things happen, you stand solid knowing that you have lived a life through a path of good choices and regret nothing. The family will grieve but I hope that Connor’s death wasn’t intended to be the only means possible to bring his family back to reconcile. Bitter wounds fester and broken-hearts wither. Embrace the ones you hold dear to you tighter! Confess your loves to your loves and seek to make amends from broken relationships. Why fight over petty things? Why let your differences cause all of you to be in pain when all of you just need to let go of that anger and see that what is important has been in front of you all along.  Look at what’s in front of you and embrace it whole-heartedly. Don’t assume that what is there will be there tomorrow.

We Thank God for Yesterday, We Praise God for Today and We Hope to GOD for Tomorrow!

Life’s too short to maintain regrets, so regret nothing by doing what you need to do NOW!

 

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4 thoughts on “October 31, 2011 – Must death bring you together?”

  1. Such a sad, sad story here. It is so hard oftentimes to say “sorry” and go back to how we were, great friends we were, great sisters, great lovers. Can we be all by ourselves? A story shared, a lesson learnt!

    1. Thank you so much Subhan.
      Unfortunately, Wpress doesn’t seem to allow me to include the “like” button on the pages I make and seems to only allow it on the main blog page. Thanks for liking this post.

      Stay blessed :D

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