Ok, I had no intention of bringing this up ever, but today I had lunch with a friend of mine and her story is what has inspired this post.
You know as a single person, you will encounter many battles and temptations to undermine and compromise your integrity. Joseph had that situation happen when Potifar’s wife wanted to sleep with him, but he did the right thing and preserved himself from the open invitation to stray from the path of simply doing the right thing.
So my friend today tells me that there’s this guy in her past that has been contacting her as of late and they know each other since high school days. They’re good friends, however, the man is married. He went through an arranged marriage and has had 3 kids with his wife. So the thing is this, he supposedly confessed to my friend recently that he has always been “in love” with her and she didn’t really have romantic feelings for him, but would have entertained the idea of marriage had he expressed interest earlier on before the whole arranged marriage fiasco happened. He claims that the reason why he didn’t confess to her earlier was because she didn’t throw any hints of entertaining the idea, but she didn’t know that the man was interested in her that way. This is a moment where I say to men reading this post, if you’re interested in a lady, don’t assume for one second that they can read your mind…go up there and have courage to confess to her, so that you don’t have this crae-crae-ness affect your life later like this guy in my friends story. You won’t know if you have a chance if you don’t try. Why live in regret thinking I coulda shoulda woulda, but inevitably like this guy, didn’t?????
Anywho, let me continue on with the story, so mind you they were young when they were friends and she was battling self-esteem issues like we all do when we’re in our teens and in our twenties. Anyways, long story short…he’s been constantly wanting to meet up with her without his wife knowing, and she being a woman with strong moral standards, doesn’t want to be a quote-in-quote “Homewrecker”. He even wrote two poems to her today which she shared with me to read to see what they meant because she isn’t really strong in understanding the symbolism in poems, literature and meanings etc etc. Thank God for English class because when I read these two poems, I could tell you where this man’s head was at. There were warning signs everywhere with what he wrote. I won’t paste the poems here for the sake of anonymity, but what I will say is that his subtle messages to the undiscerning individual will seem like lovely emotional imagery type poems, but in the poems were laced with venom that entertained leaving his wife, a threat of committing suicide and feeling trapped in dark emotions aimed at making my friend feel guilt. 😦 The man is obsessing over the fact that he could have married her had he had the guts back then to confess. Men…life is short, if you like a gal, confess now….if it doesn’t work out it doesn’t work out…but don’t be like this guy okay? Ladies, don’t entertain ungodly behaviours that can cause your brother to stumble. Don’t give into the temptation whatsoever because this type of thing right here is a DESTINY DESTROYER. Not just your destiny will be affected, but his as well, if you entertain the thought of adultery. Think David and Uriah’s wife, Bethsheba in the Bible (2 Samuel 11 ). David committed adultery, and his life there after was not peaceful from then on… there is a heavy price to pay for such a sin and life changing mistake.
Hearing her story freaked me out because I was reminded of a time I liked a similar person. This person that I liked was “in the church” and I secretly liked this person for 7 years (Yeah, I know…why did I do that to myself?). The person appeared to (from my perspective) or seemed to like me back and sent out strong signals that he was attracted to me, but he never took action. Me being young and naive thought…that was just him being shy…but when I got the courage to confess (because I couldn’t stand waiting anymore), I was stopped by a few friends of his that were in the church as well who kind of indicated to me not to say anything. Long story short, I found out soon after that he was married and he had no intention of revealing that in the first place to me whatsoever until he had peer pressure from his friends forcing him to be accountable and come out with the truth. I thank God everyday for his God-fearing friends.
The moment he told me the truth I was devastated and immediately, all the feelings I had for him were completely gone. I was distraught beyond belief and felt like I had just wasted 7 years to end up with nothing, NOTHING 😦 . I was angry and completely emotional about the whole thing. The strange thing was, after confessing the truth that he was married, he all of a sudden started to show strong affections towards me that he never displayed before once he found out that I “liked” him, and started to pursue me in the church. Just like my friend’s situation, he was regretting not acting on his feelings or so it appeared. At this point, I didn’t have time for that so You know what I did? I RAN AWAY. That’s right I RAN AWAY and didn’t look back. He started to stalk me and that totally freaked me out, but thank God, his friends and family kept him at bay. I had to pray and fast to God to have this person removed from my life, and one day he simply just left the church. I sincerely pray and thank God for that because he seemed like he was not going to back down until he had what he wanted. It was like dealing with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. The man had two personalities going on there that shocked me. I shudder when I recall the whole thing.
I must say this, even if you pray for the person to be removed from your life, you might have to take drastic measures and simply remove yourself from the situation just to preserve your integrity. I’m not joking about this. You have to do whatever it takes in order to preserve yourself. Yes, it will hurt like hell, but trust me, you will see down the road that you did the right thing. I admit that initially when he started to show strong affections towards me, I did entertain the idea that “maybe he married the wrong person” etc etc, yes, those thoughts did come across my mind,but who was I kidding but myself. I have no time to be in self-denial. He showed a dark obsessive side that I failed to see before and when God simply opened my spiritual eyes to see into the person, I saw something that freaked me out and I will never forget it for the rest of my life that it made me realize the devil will use anyone and anything to kill your destiny.
God loves us so much that He will show us the truth to preserve our lives, but we have to be willingly open to what God shows us in order to embrace the reality of the situation no matter how disappointed you may feel. I knew that God loved me enough to show me the truth of this person’s heart that he saved me from a life-time and possibly life-changing mistake. Think SAMSON….he entertained danger and made a life-changing, lifetime mistake when he allowed a DELILAH in his life.
Men, I urge you, do not allow crae-crae (crazy) women into your life. They can mess you up big time and give you a lifetime of pain. Ladies, don’t allow a man who promises and tells you sweet “nothings” to cause you to compromise your beliefs and where you stand in God. He is not worth it.
Albeit, I was devastated, I imploded on the inside and the funny thing was, God had shown me in some dreams that I had recorded that he was not what he appeared to be despite being in the “church”, but I was ignoring the interpretation because I wanted to “see the best in him”. Listen, love isn’t blind to the truth, we choose to be blinded by our emotions. We deceive our own hearts into accepting lies rather than seeing the truth for what it is. That whole experience inspired my “So You Lied to Me – Trust is Earned My Friend” post which is one of my very first posts for this blog that has always received huge hits because I’m sure many people have gone through this craziness.
DO NOT and I mean DO NOT COURT WITH DANGER.
I cannot emphasize this enough. As a single person in my thirties, I have come to know based on experience, that life is already short, why make it shorter by entertaining nonsense in our lives. The Devil’s agenda doesn’t change…he want’s to kill, steal and destroy you and the blessings God has for you in your life.
The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.
Yes, you will be tempted, you will be deceived, you will be tricked, you will be put into situations that will test your integrity, but hold fast to the WORD OF GOD. That is the only thing that can save you. I know what it’s like to be heartbroken. I was heartbroken about the situation to the point I was grieved because I couldn’t believe that a person I liked, and supposedly a “Christian” person at that would not care about entertaining the idea of an “affair”. I’m not that girl, I’m not that woman that wants leftovers. I was so distraught that such a person didn’t realize how much I take my relationship with God seriously. It took me two years to get over it…I mean I loved the guy for 7 and I was in a state where I was repenting everyday and seeking God’s face to show me where I went wrong, how could I be deceived etc etc, and during that time I separated myself from a lot of people and contemplated suicide. I was withdrawn and needed to find myself again.
God is amazing in that He healed many parts of my broken heart that started me blogging in the first place. It took 2 years…but honestly, I’m glad I went through that experience. I was bitter and didn’t trust anybody, but honestly, God was showing me not to close myself off just because of this. I want to remain in right-standing and had to be like a modern-day Joseph and preserve mine integrity. I won’t lie, it does feel lonely at times doing the right thing when everybody else is just jumping to what’s good, but this is all about fighting for your DESTINY. Hence, this is why I’m sharing this story now. Honestly, I would much prefer taking this story to my grave, but I feel led to share it here so that I pray that this story helps someone to see that there are things out there that are geared to destroy your destiny. Only you have the power to protect it with the decisions that you make. I’m not saying that it’ll be easy, in fact, it will be excruciatingly hard, but you can do it. God wants you to have an abundant life, don’t allow room to sin in areas that you know you cannot undo. Don’t entertain illicit affairs or relationships that are ungodly and unequal yokes. Don’t marry into a lifetime of unhappiness and pain. Wait on the Lord, and He will bless you in the fullness of time. I trust God with my future, so I implore you to put your future in God’s hands. Don’t allow the enemy to trap you and halt your destiny by entertaining danger. You know that saying that goes, “If you play with fire, you will get burned”. I know what it feels like to play with fire…but thank God I ran away from it so that I wouldn’t end up burned. Don’t play with fire is my message.
The Devil will attack you with feelings of “loneliness” to move you to do crazy things. It is so important to anchor yourself with the right people that share the same biblical-standards that you do, or are stronger than you in many areas that you are weak in. Isolation is not good for you because we are all created to be relational beings to begin with, so fellowship with strong Christians. Find mentorship with people that can guide you in the right direction. If you’re in my thirties like myself and thinking “Yo, my biological clock is tickin’ and nothing’s going on. I’m going to take matters into my own hands and do this thing my way”, let me stop you right there and tell you, if you ain’t praying to God about your spouse right now, I guarantee that you’ll attract trouble and trouble will find you. I may not be married right now and many of you might think I’m not qualified to say the things I’m saying, but it doesn’t matter. God’s Word stands firm forever. If you want to do things your way without consulting God on the matter, then be my guest, because I already have friends that compromised and fell into temptation and their lives are in chaos with what the devil brought in their direction. Understand this one thing, the Devil maximizes on the emotion we call “Loneliness” to trap you and get you to compromise. Don’t allow that feeling to trump reason, don’t allow that feeling to override what it means to do the “right thing”. Go to God when you feel empty, because it is only through the power of the Holy Spirit that He fills you. No person in this lifetime can fill or satisfy the void that is in your life and in your heart.
This message is for the single for both men and women, young or old. There are things out there in life that are laid there as a trap to cause you to falter on your journey. These are what I call DESTINY DESTROYERS. Please, please, please, go to God if your are dealing with something like this. Find someone who will pray with you and assist you to stay on the right path. Avoid a life time of pain, Amen! This was indeed a difficult post for me to write because of my personal story, but I feel that someone needs to hear this and change their course to get back on track. I hope it helps somebody.
Here is a song from Hillsongs United called I Surrender. Surrender your life to God right now. If you’ve made some of these mistakes, go back to God and seek His face to help you get back on track. God Loves you and will help you get up again no matter how many times you’ve fallen. He cares about you and will do all that it takes to Protect your Destiny, Amen. I pray that this Song blesses your spirit today. God bless you everybody 😀