Yesterday I had the honor of going tothe Jesus Culture and Kim Walker concert and I can tell you it was phenomenal! I loved it and this song was sung at the concert that I felt would be a great worship song to bless your spirit today. It’s called Spirit Break Out. It’s time to give God high Glory and high Praise. I believe Revival is in our now season. I believe for it and I receive it for all those that have been praying for it. God is bringing His Kingdom to be made manifest in our lives this year through Restoration, Redemption & Revival!
Hope y’all are having a blessed weekend. Today, I want to post a video called “Thy Name”.
The questions I have for your meditation today are:
Do you know who God is? Who is God to you?
Many people assume that they do many good works in His Name which make them stellar Christians in the eyes of people, but unfortunately, these same people ignore the voice of the Father (through the Holy Spirit) when He gives direction which is an act of DISOBEDIENCE.
If you are one of those that say “I have never heard the Lord say….” or “The Holy Spirit doesn’t speak to me…”, then You need to re-evaluate how you perceive yourself before the Father.
You need to have a revelation of who God is to you in order to hear what He is saying to you in order for you to be who God wants you to be…and that is to be His child.
Children of God are Children of obedience. Obedience is cultivated by a trust relationship. You need to Trust in the Father as the Father also has need to Trust in you. Trust is built on Faith, and Faith comes by Hearing, and Hearing by the Word of the Lord (Romans 10:17).
Do you Trust God enough to Hear Him? Sometimes our Pridecan cause us to be deaf to the Holy Spirit, but when we humble ourselves before Him and pray and seek His face, that is when we truly begin to Hear what the Spirit of the Lord is saying to “Us” the Church as little children (Revelation 2:7, 11, 17,29; Revelations 3:6, 13, 22).
You know the saying that goes…“When the student is ready, the master will appear”. Well, in our case…it’s different. In our case it is
“When YOU, the Child of God is ready, the Father will appear”.
Are you ready to be what you were predestined to be?
As Jesus is the Great Shepherd, He tells us that “My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.” (John 10:27).
In order to follow Jesus, we must be willingto hear what the Spirit of the Lord wants us to hear.
God speaks to us everyday in so many different ways. Do not put God in a box with your way of thinking. Learn to soften your heart and become sensitive to the voice of the Holy Spirit. You can do this by meditating on the Word and acting on it by faith. When you reach out to the Father by faith, He will extend His hand to you. It’s all in His Word. He is not a man that He should lie. So reach out to Him today and learn to Hear from Him when He calls you by Name.
Today, I have a video from my favourite person Dan Stevers called Doxology (means: a liturgical formula of praise to God.).
I feel that we must really seek a life that gives us reasons to praise and worship God daily. It says in: Psalm 150:6 - Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord.If we all have breath, we must live life with praise continually being in our mouths. Each day is a blessing in that many people did not see today, but if you are reading this…you are blessed to be alive. Life is a precious gift. Let us not squander this life with prayer-lessness, praise-lessness and worship-lessness (I know, I’m making up these words – humor me). God seeks those that will worship Him in Spirit and in Truth.
Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spiritand in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks.
John 4:24 God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spiritand in truth.”
We cannot worship the Father in this way if our flesh is fed more than our spirit.
The Lord Jesus sent us a Helper, who is the Holy Spirit to show us how to live life in a state of worship unto God Daily. It’s time to starve our fleshy desires and feed our spirits with the Holy things of God. We have to go back to the basics and reclaim our unity with the Holy Spirit once again. If we want to walk in the full power of the Spirit, we need to do what is necessary in order to feed it and die to the flesh.
The World is full of distractions, but we have the Bible to show us how we can maintain our focus on the important things in life.
God has to be your TOP #1 priority before anything else. Many people think that by putting God first you automatically get stuff…which we call “blessings”, but that in a way is a form of self-deception in that if all you are seeking is to get stuff from God, then you are still entertaining the fleshy side of you that seeks self-gratification through things, rather than seeking the intimacy one achieves by being in constant communication with the Lord of Hosts, our Lord Jesus Christ.
God seeks relationship, and worship is that link that brings us closer to Him. The reason why He seeks worshipers to worship Him in Spirit and in Truth, is because it is only through the Spirit, and it is only in those who pursue and live by the Truth that will be able to tap into the very Heart of God.
But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come.
David is a great example of such a worshiper, for he was a man after God’s Heart. The question we must ask ourselves today is … Are we after God’s heart, or are we after God’s stuff?
As I spend time in my prayer closet, I’ve come to feel that God is always near us…but the reason why it seems like He is so far away from us at times is because we haven’t fine tuned our spirits truthfully to hear Him when He calls us. Instead, we have nurtured a heart that seeks after the things that give us temporary pleasures and have ultimately blocked out the voice of Holy Spirit. What will it take for God to get your full attention?It’s amazing that in most cases, people remember God in the bad times…but God doesn’t want to be remembered only in the bad times….He wants to be a part of all the Good times in your life as well.
I believe that it is time for God to take the Throne-room of our hearts and take a seat. God is sovereign and He will only become sovereign to you when you decide that other things can wait, because “Lord, Your servant is listening.”I believe that in the present time, God wants to use those whose hearts are seeking Him diligently. It’s time to bend to the Will of God for your lives and it’s time to forsake our selfish attitudes and set aside our differences with people so that forgiveness reigns in your heart and peace travels with you because it says in God’s Word, that Only the Pure in Heart will see God.
Blessed are the pureinheart, for they will see God.
So everybody, search deep within the crevices of your hearts and consider that it’s time to feed your Spirit and bury your fleshy way of life, because in the end, your body will perish one day, but it is your spirit that will live on into the next eternity.Make sure you live a life that prepares you for your eternity into the next by living to Praise and Worship God Daily.
I have a song here by Isaach Carree called Paradise.I pray that this video blesses your spirit today. God bless you everybody!
Wooohoooooooo it’s the final day of the Fast for me! The whole journey has been rather surreal for me. I remember going to church last night because we were praying throughout the 21 Day Daniel Fast so it was holding a prayer service, and as people were praying for their needs, I literally saw a cloud of smoke hovering the entire congregation and it filled the entire room and I knew it was the presence of God because this wasn’t the first time I’d seen this happen.
All the people saw the pillarofcloud standing at the tabernacle door, and all the people rose and worshiped, each man in his tent door.
People of God, the presence of God is tangible from my experience. It was a fearful sight for me, because that is when you realize that you’ve entered into a place that is considered the Holy of Holies. I remember feeling like I was just trembling throughout the prayer session and what I can say is that when you enter into that Holy place, you can’t joke around in that presence. I believe that the same God who walked with the Isralites like a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by nightis able to make His presence known to those who reverentially fear Him. As I meditate today, I feel in my spirit that the Lord wants people to know that the Lord will lead you in the night time and in the day time with knowledge, instruction, direction from the Light that comes from His Word. All you have to do is watch Him lead and you follow as you walk by faith and not by sight.
And the Lord went before them by day in a pillarofcloudto lead the way, and by night in a pillarof fire to give them light, so as to go by day and night.
I’m expecting a new move of God this year. What took years to be established will take days if not hours to be fulfilled. There is indeed a quickening in the spirit so don’t give up on what you are praying for is my encouragement today. God will show you the road in which you should travel if you just put your trust in Him today.
Yet in Your manifold merciesYou did not forsake them in the wilderness. The pillarof the cloud did not depart from them by day, To lead them on the road; Nor the pillarof fire by night, To show them light, And the way they should go.
God will not leave you in the wilderness if you just allow Him to take you by the Hand and allow Him to lead you in the right direction, is what I’m hearing in my spirit right now as I’m typing this.
This word that is in my spirit right now is to encourage you as it is also an encouragement to myself. There are moments I wonder whether I am heading in the right direction as I sometimes am filled with anxiety wondering if I’m still following Him. There are moments where the road seems a bit blurry and you need that reassurance that you are walking in the right direction. Throughout the fast God has been telling me to not lean on my own understandingand to follow Himas He directs my path (Proverbs 3:5-7). Sometimes we operate by presumption, assuming we know where we ought to go…but that level of presumption can lead you astray if you are not careful. We can’t rely on our own understanding to get to where God wants us to be so we have to humble ourselvesand allow Him to direct the path and He will make it clear for you. I pray that the journey ahead of all of us will be made clear and that in whatever we do, we must do it for the glory of God to be revealed to His lost sheep.
May the peace of God follow you throughout the year everybody!
I feel like celebrating the end of this fast with a song by J.Moss (feat. James Fortune) called You Did. May this Song bless your spirit today Everybody!
Today the third person of the Trinity is underappreciated by those who misunderstand Him and misrepresented by those overzealous for His manifestations. Somewhere between those extremes we must realize our desperate need for a genuine move of the Holy Spirit.
The world is full of books about God the Father who created the universe, and more books are written about Jesus the Son of God than anyone who ever walked on this planet. But isn’t it interesting that far fewer books have been written about God the Holy Spirit?
When teaching on prayer, Jesus declared, “If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!” (Luke 11:13, emphasis added). You’d think that promise would create a huge desire to know more about this promised Helper—?who He is and what He does. And it would be even better if we were to experience Him as a living reality the way the early believers did.
We know that Jesus the Son is seated at the right hand of the Father (Luke 22:69; Eph. 1:20; Col. 3:1). So that means the Holy Spirit is God’s only agent on Earth. He is the only experience we can have of God Almighty, the only way we can have the work of Jesus Christ applied to our lives and the only way we can understand God’s Word. Without the Holy Spirit, we are like the disciples before Pentecost—?sincere but struggling with confusion and defeat.
More than 100 years ago, Samuel Chadwick, a great Methodist preacher and leader in England, summed it up concisely: “The Christian religion is hopeless without the Holy Ghost.”
The early church provides the perfect illustration of that hopelessness. It was made up of simple men and women. The leaders were former fishermen and tax collectors who fled in fear when Jesus was arrested and needed them most. They weren’t courageous and faithful. In fact, they lacked faith and courage. They were the least likely to be put in charge of any Christian enterprise.
Yet after the events in Acts 2, when the Holy Spirit was poured out, those same nobodies were suddenly transformed. With courage and faith, they turned their community, and eventually the world, upside down.
It wasn’t a result of their seminary training; they didn’t have any. They couldn’t hand out copies of the New Testament; it hadn’t been written yet. It wasn’t because they were wealthy and had the greatest sound system and light show at their church; they were poor people without a church building.
To the existing Jewish religious establishment, those early Christians were mocked as unlearned and ignorant people with few resources. To the Roman Empire they seemed fanatical and strange.
But one thing they did possess was the power of the Holy Spirit. Jesus told them to rely on the Spirit for everything. The early believers knew well that Christianity was hopeless without the Holy Spirit.
Giving the Spirit His Due
The Holy Spirit is underappreciated and underpreached by the 21st century church. There is a prejudice of sorts against the Holy Spirit that impedes many from learning more about Him.
The body of Christ is often divided into two sides. One side stresses the Word of God, separating itself from what it views as the emotional fanaticism often linked to those emphasizing the work of the Holy Spirit. The other side is sometimes known for drifting into unbiblical manifestations and unorthodox teaching while attributing it all to the Spirit of God.
Seeing the abuse and bad teaching, many on the first side will say: “I’m not interested in experiences and manifestations of the Holy Spirit. I just want to study the Word.”
But it was the Holy Spirit who inspired the Bible, and there are lots of promises concerning His person and work. How can anyone treasure God’s Word without giving the Holy Spirit His rightful place?
To those who move in circles strongly emphasizing the Holy Spirit, they must be reminded that everything must be tested by Scripture. The Spirit never contradicts the Word He gave us. He also never puts the focus on the preacher, because the Holy Spirit was sent to glorify Christ alone (John 16:14).
Somewhere in the middle is the kind of Christianity we see in Scripture, where the Word of God is honored along with a childlike dependence and openness to the Holy Spirit. Only the Holy Spirit can make the things of Christ real and alive to people.
Christianity does not stop at the cross where Jesus died and paid the price for our sins. After Good Friday was Resurrection Sunday, when the Spirit raised Christ.
Yet so many of us live with faint trickles and shallow pools of the Spirit, rather than the promised rivers of living water. “On the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, ‘If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me, as Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water’” (John 7:37-38, emphasis added).
By this He meant the Spirit. Everything about the Spirit speaks of powerful currents of life that refresh us and flow out to bless others.
Let’s remember how any person becomes a Christian: Before a person can feel the need for Jesus Christ as Savior, he or she must first be convicted of sin. “And when He has come, He will convict the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment” (John 16:8). The Holy Spirit shows us our sin and our need for a Savior. That is what every believer experiences in conversion to Christ.
I had a phenomenal weekend as I had attended a Revive Canada conference with Evangelist Shyju Mathew and let me tell you, there was soo much downpoured into my spirit about revival that although I’ve been praying for it to come here in Canada, I’m more than convinced that it is already in operation. I believe that God is setting the stage as we speak to break forth into the type of Revival that will become the largest in our lifetime and if you come from another nation…I just want you to know that this Revival I’m talking about isn’t just for Canada…it’s going to be global. That is what I’m believing for and I can already see it happening. I would like to say more, but I must remain silent and let the Lord do His work. There is soo much more in store that I’m currently excited and at the same time fearful for those not prepared for what will take place.
Setting that aside I went to church yesterday and my Pastor was talking about Evangelism in her sermon and how there is a gap in the church for this area. I cannot agree more with her on that one. In fact, the night after the Revive Canada conference the Holy Spirit had told me the same exact thing. Talk about confirmation. Evangelism in North America seems to have dwindled as of late because people are being swayed between wavering opinions with the enemies agenda to promote COMPROMISE.
How long must the Church compromise and waver between two opinions?
1 Kings 18:21
And Elijah came to all the people, and said, “How long will you falter between twoopinions? If the LORD is God, follow Him; but if Baal, follow him.” But the people answered him not a word.
I remember as I listened to my Pastor preach as she mentioned how Jesus told his disciples in
Then He said to them, “Follow Me, and I will make you fishersofmen.”
The Holy Spirit spoke to me during the service and said…”Evangelism is just like Casting a net, however, not many people like what they catch”, I thought…WHOA…ain’t that the truth!
We know that God can make us fishers of men and yet we don’t always seem to like what we catch in terms of looking at what’s caught in your net. Sometimes we expect to capture the most impressive and responsive individual to the Word which I liken to favourable big fish…but it’s the small fry fish that we typically get caught in our nets most of the time that seem to always be the first ones cast away when it comes to evangelism. Why is that the case?
I see these type of cast-away fish as those that are easily overlooked, easily ostracized, easily misjudged by prejudicial eyes which tend to be the ones that look irregular to the big fish that we as Christians seem to aim for. Some of these fish maybe deformed, or be of a different colour, creed, family, social economic status, some may even look like EMOs, Punk Rockers, Satanists, Witches, Occult users, homosexuals, prostitutes, adulterers, those that have mental disorders and some maybe of various religions including the atheists. These types of fish from what I’ve seen, seem very unappealing to us in regards to spreading the gospel of Truth…but these are the same people that God wants us to capture the most. They may seem unresponsive at first, but these are the ones that God will use for REVIVAL. This is what I’m sensing strongly in my spirit right now.
The Holy Spirit also posed an uncomfortable question to me which I will share with you. He asked me, “How far are you willing to cast your net?”. Has the Holy Spirit ever asked you that kind of question?
He revealed to me that although I’ve captured some through my blog, He seems to be implying to me that I can do better than this. I was incredibly Challengedthat I didn’t answer His question right away….because obviously, I was assessing the price.
Dear Lord….I am feeling the fear of God rise each time I’m challenged by God’s mandate. It was a fearful question that I found I was not so readily available to answer right away, surprise surprise *gulp*. I’m sensing that I’ve got to prepare myself to be pushed in the uncomfortable zone to see this manifest through. My whole mind feels like it’s just trembling thinking about it. I won’t claim to be welcoming this mandate with open arms…because sometimes…it’s about pushing the bar and walking right into destiny. I thought about it and struggled with the answer…in fact I found myself wrestling with myself with the answer; however, I’d like to be brave and claim by faith here on this blog with much fear and trembling *gulp*, “As far as you want me to, Lord.”
As soon as I answered the Holy Spirit’s question…I began to see visions….and I’m just not looking forward to the rest to tell you the truth and yet with the encouragement of a friend, she tells me that “I am groomed for spiritual warfare”. *sigh*….I certainly hope so *gulp*.
Has anybody ever felt Challenged by the Lord like this???? What did you do? How did you answer?
I am one that doesn’t answer too rashly or too quickly when the Holy Spirit asks me a question….I have a tendency to assess the risks first and I always seem to look before I leap in faith lol. I guess it’s time to just Leap :).
The Holy Spirit began to tell me and show me of what I’ve been able to accomplish with just my blog. Of course I do more than just blog about my faith…but this is just an example.
Some people may not know this, but ever since I’ve started to blog about my faith a year ago, I’d get private emails from readers who have told me that their faith has been revitalized, that they feel like after reading some of my posts they feel a lot stronger in their walk, some have even sought information about spiritual warfare, some have seen answers to their problems and others are just hungry to hear more on certain topics that I’ve posted which has given me an indication that social media is one powerful evangelistic tool. Of course you get the occasional hate mail…but that sort of goes without saying when you speak the truth.
One person I remember contacting me who wishes to remain anonymous works for the UN and has seen amazing breakthroughs in their workplace with the spiritual warfare posts I had posted, with one of them in particularly dealing with Hamans in the workplace and other such material. Some people contact me for material that they can read and where they can buy it, etc etc. And many people from my blog come from across the globe. In fact, more the 52, 000 people have viewed this blog according to my flag stats and these people come from 171 different countries! I mean…I haven’t even blogged for that long and even though the blog was open nearly 2 years ago, I finally got active last year in October and it’s only been a year since I’ve been writing regularly and yet so many people’s lives have changed in such a short period of time via Wpress.
If God can attract more than 52,000 people to one blog in one year…What say you in ten years? What say you with thousands of other Christians blogging????
A social media revival is indeed possible, People!
What I am trying to imply here is that we cannot underestimate the power of social media to bring about Revival. I think we have to look outside the box. Television will always be an effective form of evangelism, but there are other effective tools out there to bring people to one place with the gospel message and that is definitely social media. Social media is even more effective than magazines these days and with the use of the internet, anything is possible.
What I’m trying to say here is that we don’t have to over complicate Evangelism. We can cast our nets further than we’ve ever imagined before through social media since it is one place that seems to have mobilized the whole world to be gathered in one place through cyberspace.
I remember back in the day (10 years ago) when my sister and I went out with a couple of friends of my mother from the UK to hand out tracts in the street in a popularly known dangerous neighborhood and it was an exercise that I kind of cringed at because honestly…I have never been moved by that form of evangelism personally in regards to myself and I had never done street evangelism before either. “Who says that street evangelism is fun?” is probably the most passionate about it…but I knew even in my Christian self…it did not appeal to me one single bit no matter how much I loved the Lord. I’m just being honest here folks. The idea of talking to strangers was one thing…but in a risky area…that did not appeal to me at all… Yes, I have to admit..it was not my cuppa tea, but I learned a few things during this exercise.
When I was with these two ladies from the UK who were obviously pros at this street evangelism thing, it was interesting to walk through and try it out and give this thing a whirl. We did get a few jokers out there who just accepted the tracts hoping to get a phone number at the end which kind of got on my nerves, but eventually my sister and I got the opportunity to evangelize to a Satanist. Yep, in all that hallabaloo, we encountered those that took the tracts without much conversation, some listened with an open ear and thanked us and some were mere jokers until we landed on a Satanist. A fish we did not expect to encounter in this exercise.
My sister and I did not expect that we’d actually encounter one at all since it seemed that the obvious target in the area we were in were “youth at risk”. Yes, there were a few brothas that just took the tract wanting my phone number…which also is another reason I was not interested in street evangelism, however, when we spoke to the satanist, I thought, “Wow! Now here is a real fish that I’d like to get saved!” Mind you I was an immature babe in Christ when this event happened so this is just a recollection of what happened.
The person thought that by confessing he was a satanist that we’d back off in prejudice and fear because he kind of smirked when he told us he was a Satanist…Much to his surprise, I was actually excited and forthcoming…because I was thinking “Here we go…finally someone worth it!” because I felt up for the challenge. Yes, a few people where just playas…not really serious about listening to the gospel of truth… only interested in a date which greatly discouraged me from continuing this type of evangelism after 2 hours of it on the first day…(I shake my head at these). The Satanist was surprised that we were not afraid of him and was completely in awe of how calm and welcoming we were…in fact he must have thought I was crazy between my sister and I, because I was really excited to tell him about Jesus. At first he wasn’t very forthcoming in taking the tract we had to offer, but when we talked to him about the love of our Lord Jesus, and noticed how passionate we were about talking about Jesus without judging him on his appearance or status quo, he became responsive. He even thanked us for sharing the message with him. The whole day seemed worth it to me after we talked to one of the easily ostracized fish in our day. I believe there is a party in heaven for each one that receives the gospel of truth and this was the method of evangelism I was doing when I was a babe in Christ 10 years ago.
I look back at this and think of it as a very fond memory that is bringing me back to where I am now in my walk. I question myself, Am I still as passionate as I was before? I know in my heart I’m passionate about the gospel of truth, hence the blog, but I must confess that I think what I am battling right now is Fear brought upon by over-thinking the whole persecution complex. I went through a round of it when I was a youth leader in my church that I realize what I experienced has affected me more than I realized…but God is saying, “Get over it, it’s not going to be the last time either”. UGHHHHHHHHH! well…can’t argue with the Almighty now can I?
Well, in the end I have to get over myself if the target is for the cast-away fish. I think that the message today is that as Christians, we love aiming for responsive fish to the gospel and get easily satisfied by those that willingly come to the Lord with less effort when the true Catch that God is aiming for is for the easily cast-away fish. These fish are actually easy to catch but we cast them away so easily because of prejudice.
I think that we have to re-think Evangelism and analyze who we catch when we Cast our nets and also consider that we maybe guilty in some areas of casting away fish that so truly need to hear the Word by so easily giving up on them after experiencing their initial rejection of the Truth. I’m not saying become aggressive and stalk people with the gospel, all I’m just saying is that our approach should be one that is loving and kind, appealing to those that are easily overlooked that tend to be the ones who feel ostracized by Christians who approach them with prejudice rather than with compassion. We cannot afford to speak about the gospel of truth with prejudicial hearts and condemning spirits. That will not appeal to them at all. Empathy and Honesty wrapped with Compassion will work better to reach the lost rather than being perceived as a bible-thumping Christian, Amen.
What do y’all think? Do you agree or disagree? I’d like to know your opinions.
I was sitting in my chair thinking of what to write today since a few things have happened to me this week that I haven’t really gotten off my chest about and I decided that I’ll just talk about what I’ve encountered this week. I’ve encountered both constructive and destructive criticism, I’ve encountered opportunities to minister to some people and did, I fell sick during the week and yet had things I needed to accomplish which made things rather challenging since I was in the midst of getting some projects done at work, I also encountered some individuals this week who were definitely self-serving and inconsiderate that it made me think “what is wrong with people these days?!”. In fact, I think you could say I was pretty frustrated and angry at the nonsense that kept poppin’ in my week that I even went and talked to my mum about it and she was calm and collected which is so like her. I love the fact that she doesn’t allow things to get to her so easily unlike me who does, and she knows me very well to be an emotional person so she let me rant and rave as much as I wanted until I cooled down which I’m still trying to work on, but have a ways to go on that front so I decided that I needed to pray about my attitude since I still did not feel at peace even after all that blowing off of steam. I even ranted to my twin who is just like my cool-headed mom which didn’t make much of a difference towards my attitude. I had a lot say to God that I just felt like venting to the Lord about my days this week until I found myself asking….”What in the world am I doing here? What is the point????!!!”.
Sometimes I feel like flying off somewhere far far away and never coming back to escape the dramarama of my life when I feel like I’ve had enough, but I know intuitively that that is just me formulating ways and means of escapismfrom reality. Sometimes I think that when you’ve moved around as much as I have you develop a way of thinking that if you move or leave to go somewhere far away you’ll escape the problem that you left behind you when you leave the country. However, the reality is that you aren’t really escaping the problem…you’re traveling with it to the next destination which is something I have learned after living in one country for more than three years. I have never stayed in a country for more than four years until now since I’m settled in Canada for the past 11 years and I can tell you that I still feel tempted to leave and move on to the next best thing when I feel like I can’t take it anymore. That feeling occurs to me when I’m feeling uncomfortable or when I feel like I’m being tied to a place for too long…. this urgency to run away before people ground me or make me commit to things that will keep me in one place for too long makes me feel like I’m suffocating when I prefer having the freedom to do what I want when I want…but of course there comes a point where a person needs boundaries which I believe I do have…but at the same time, these boundaries become rather murky when I struggle with anxiety.
Escapism….a dangerous place to be when you have options. It’s also a dangerous place to be when you don’t have options. I probably am not making any sense right now which is ok…just keep reading ;).
Ok, to some people who have been following this blog, you may be thinking…Sherline this is soo unlike you….get your act together woman! I know!!! I know already!!!….I should! but I was very irritated this week that I myself had to call into question my own actions…Why am I being so reactionary when all this while I’ve been teaching about responding appropriately to situations? My very words were being tested by the Lord which is something that happens to me a lot, Ugh! *I’m cringing at this failed test* lol :) Well, all I can say is the jokes on me lol :D .
I’m actually laughing about this as I write because I think my behaviour has been an entire joke for the whole week. I find myself asking myself how is it possible that I managed to stay upset for an entire 5 days in a row allowing little things to get to me so easily? That’s when I decided that I needed to pray to God about this…because something was definitely wrong with me since there were areas where I know I normally would have exhibited some level of self-control were now the areas that now bothered me with incredible intensity that I just felt like blowing my top off even though I managed to restrain myself from doing so to some extent, but that’s not the point! The point is is that even if I didn’t say anything, my thoughts were not pure because angry thoughts ended up filling my mind and ended up being my meditations throughout the week even though I know that it’s ungodly to let the sun go down in your anger. My anger issue kind of took me off guard as I struggled to resolve the issue by ignoring it and by trying to minimize the things that were already irritating me. It was clear to me that this was a spiritual issue that I needed to tackle with the help of the Holy Spirit. That’s when I decided that enough is enough…I needed to pray about this and so I did in the middle of the night. As I vented my frustrations to the Lord, the Holy Spirit listened to me blah blah blahing away saying my two cents about how I reacted to so and so and what the outcome was after the incidents that occurred throughout the week, and the only thing He asked me at the end of this ranting and raving is “What is important right now?”.
What type of question is that?! I wondered. I sat there feeling puzzled and confused, feeling like the Holy Spirit was playing games with me and had obviously ignored my side of the story, oh so I thought initially. I sat silently thinking about it for a while knowing that I can’t outsmart Him…and began to contemplate the question feeling slightly apathetic. I then realized that the important thing for me right now was to seriously analyze why I was so upset in the first place. I soon came to understand that I didn’t want to admit that my reactions to everything that upset me during the week where all symptomatic to a root issue which the Holy Spirit pointed out to me was an issue of PRIDE. Yes, you read that right…I was dealing with an issue of PRIDE. The very thing I’ve tried to avoid like the plague was the very thing that I found myself caught up in and entangled myself in its very dangerous web.
The Holy Spirit began to reveal to me how very subtle it was in its approach by showing me how in my anger I was reacting towards things that would not typically bother me, for the wrong reasons. I felt entitled to preserve myself from people’s bad behaviour and reacted in offense rather than respond with peace. I then ended up fuming silently which isn’t a good thing for me to do because when I fume I find myself unsuspectingly waiting to blow my top off at someone which is something I truly need to work on right now. I find that I tend to all of a sudden remember a lot of bad memories that flood my mind like a tsunami which I realize that such things begin when I’m triggered by someones words to react all self-defensively. I’ve encountered a lot in my day that I now know I have many walls that I have placed up against people as a means of shielding myself from being hurt again. This is something that the Holy Spirit is prodding and poking at right now which is kind of annoying because I know that the Holy Spirit is able to discern what hurts me the most and never seems to let me off that easily which is something I thank God for because the Holy Spirit is my best friend. He won’t white wash the truth…He just tells it like it is and now I have homework…dealing with my anger is my homework.
I’m not one to share stuff like this publicly because I don’t like wearing my heart on my sleeve…but I figured that it’s best to do so on this blog since I’m sure that there are people out there who have things they need to deal with in regards to their emotions that the Holy Spirit wants to help heal, especially those places that hurt. The Holy Spirit wants people to focus on the areas of their emotions that they have not yet surrendered completelyto the Holy Spirit in order for Him to do His work. At this moment, I pray that the Holy Spirit helps me and other people reading this message to deal with the things that trigger such negative emotions to erupt in the first place. I have a history…but going back to the Holy Spirit’s question….ask yourself this question when you are dealing with something: “What is important right now?”
Is your anger important?
Is the reason why you are being emotional that important?
Do you even know why you are upset?
Sometimes you can be depressed and may not even know the reason why you are to begin with….but for every negative emotion that you encounter in your day…. ask yourself “What is important right now?” and seriously consider that you’ll find the root cause of your emotions and will be able to deal with them better when you confront the issue in sincerity and confess it before God honestly so that you allow room for the Holy Spirit to help you deal with these issues. Right now, even confessing on a blog feels kind of painful for me to do right now even though I’m laughing, because admitting the truth is never easy…but that’s the starting point to ones deliverance. I can tell you that I feel like hyperventilating as I type this…but I also feel in my spirit that it’s like what my Grandparents used to say to me when I wouldn’t fess up to my mistakes in the past that “It’s better to tell the truth and shame the devil” otherwise all the shame will be left on you. Telling the truth exposes what was left in the dark to come to light so that you are accountable to your actionsrather than remaining in the shadows of being in denial of your responsibilities to accept the repercussions of your actions.
Live the Truth out with much Fear and Trembling.
After having written this post, I truthfully feel such a release in my spirit right now from all the anger I had been harboring all this time this past week that I can honestly say that joy is actually filling my spirit at this moment as I conclude the post. I praise God for giving me the courage to be real with myself here on Wpress even when I don’t want to be. God works in mysterious ways.
Know that God wants to set you free, no matter what emotions or feelings you struggle with. I believe in my best friend the Holy Spirit.
Do you believe?
God Bless You Everybody and have an awesome WEEKEND!